The Ashes starts in Perth on Friday, and the phoney war of pre-series jibes has finally given way to the on-field contest — though not before producing plenty of entertainment from ex-players and the Australian press.
David Warner was one of the first to spark the banter, saying Joe Root would need to “take the surfboard off his front leg” — a dig at Root’s technique — as he searches for a first Ashes century away from home. Warner added Josh Hazlewood “tends to have his number quite a lot.” Stuart Broad, never one to miss a retort, pointed out Hazlewood has only had Root lbw three times in Tests, and overall Roots’ dismissals to Hazlewood are limited.
That Root–Hazlewood subplot has been tempered by injuries: Hazlewood and Pat Cummins are both unavailable for the Perth opener with a hamstring and a back issue respectively, delaying any renewed duel.
Joe Root’s Ashes record in Australia to date
– Series: 3
– Matches: 14
– Innings: 27
– Total runs: 892
– Average: 35.68
– Highest score: 89 (Brisbane, December 2021)
– Most recent score: 11 (Hobart, January 2022)
– Hundreds: 0
– Half-centuries: 9
– Ducks: 2
The West Australian newspaper piled in with cheeky front pages when England arrived: Root was labelled “Average Joe” and a “dud Down Under” for his century-less away Ashes record, while Ben Stokes was branded “Cocky Captain Complainer,” referencing past disputes such as the controversial Carey stumping in 2023. The paper also accused Stokes’ Bazball approach of being “dopey” and “careless thrash batting” and mocked the tourists for playing golf on a green Perth pitch it said could be “the stuff of nightmares” for England’s aggressive batting.
Other voices have weighed in loudly. Mitchell Johnson warned of “alarm bells” for Australia with injuries and ageing bowlers. Warner predicted England might focus on “moral victory” and suggested a 4-0 Australian series win, though he conceded England could steal a game if Cummins missed time. Glenn McGrath and some former players tipped 5-0 scores in different directions.
Stuart Broad went further, calling this Australia’s “worst” Test side since England’s 2010/11 success away, citing a shaky top order and injury concerns. Former Australia quick Ryan Harris pushed back, accusing Broad of “drumming up the hype” and countering that Broad was wrong to call this the weakest Australian side since 2010. Harris also questioned England’s batting as “unproven,” singling out players such as Zak Crawley and Ben Duckett and repeating the point about Root’s lack of an Ashes hundred in Australia.
England faced criticism at home too for their preparation. Lord Ian Botham described playing just one warm-up game as “bordering on arrogance,” and Simon Katich warned the tourists were “asking for trouble.” Stokes dismissed some of those detractors as “has-beens,” firing back at former players who publicly questioned England’s methods.
With the jawing largely concluded, attention shifts to the First Test at Optus Stadium and whether the on-field battle matches the headline-grabbing pre-series putdowns.
Ashes series in Australia 2025-26 (UK times)
– First Test: Friday Nov 21 – Tuesday Nov 25 (2.30am) – Optus Stadium, Perth
– Second Test (day/night): Thursday Dec 4 – Monday Dec 8 (4.30am) – The Gabba, Brisbane
– Third Test: Wednesday Dec 17 – Sunday Dec 21 (12am) – Adelaide Oval
– Fourth Test: Thursday Dec 25 – Monday Dec 29 (11.30pm) – Melbourne Cricket Ground
– Fifth Test: Sunday Jan 4 – Thursday Jan 8 (11.30pm) – Sydney Cricket Ground